The Babalon Difference

Babalon is different than most other goddesses in that She is exclusively a representation of the active divine feminine principle.

As the Jungian analyst Nancy Qualls-Corbett notes in her book, The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine, there is both a static and an active part of the divine feminine. The static archetype is the maternal aspect: in Qualls-Corbett’s words, the “unchanging and stable factor that fosters feelings of security, protection, and acceptance.”

That is to say, the Mother archetype never changes. She’s The Empress in the tarot: you’ll always be her baby. She’ll always love, accept, and defend you. The Mother’s role is to endlessly incubate and birth, nurture and protect. To live entirely for her children.

The other side of the divine feminine archetype is the active or transformative aspect. Qualls-Corbett elaborates by quoting from another prominent Jungian analyst, Ann Belford Ulanov:

“This active side of the feminine… invokes primeval forces that take us out of the limitations and conventions of social norms and the reasonable life…. Ecstasy may range from a momentary being taken out of oneself to a profound enlargement of personality.”

This is the side of the divine feminine that Babalon, a.k.a. the Sacred Whore archetype, a.k.a. the tarot’s Lust, belongs to.

What does the active, transformational side of the divine feminine feel like?

  • New Relationship Energy (NRE), the excitement we experience at the beginning of a new romantic relationship.
  • Blissful, deep, gratifying sexual connection with oneself or another
  • Creative energy, coupled with motivation to bring one’s vision to life
  • A renewed sense of potential and possibility, and the willingness to explore those to see where they lead
  • A willingness to take an active role in things that the maternal divine feminine is not usually concerned with, such as external relationships, worldly activities, and personal gratification.

In other words, worshipping the Holy Whore Babalon changes us, because we are attuning with the transformational side of the feminine, the Sacred Whore archetype. When I speak of the personal transformation I help my clients achieve, it is in the spirit of this feminine lifeforce energy, this whole-unto-herself goddess of love and war we call Babalon.

The Sacred Whore uses her own magnetic, creative potential and sacral energy intentionally, to help others awaken to that same energy and potential inherent in themselves. As such, she is much more firmly in control of her own body and magick than a strictly maternal feminine archetype that is passively impregnated and forms, births, and nurtures progeny.

And unlike the Mother, the Whore is a participant in the worldly marketplace, selling access to their time, energy, mind, and body, which are valuable because these assets have been specifically calibrated to help their clients transform in some way, via direct experience of sacred sacral energy.

So when someone hurls the word whore at another person as a misogynist epithet, what are they really criticizing?

  • They are criticizing that person’s personal power and self-determination, especially as it relates to their work, their money, and their sex life.
  • They are criticizing the person for being in touch with their magnetic, creative potential.
  • They are criticizing that person for playing an active, rather than passive, role.
  • They are criticizing that person’s willingness to share all of themselves—even the personal, intimate aspects—with others.
  • And they are accusing that person of debasing themselves, vis-à-vis a very specific masculine, monotheistic worldview that emphasizes woman’s place as
    • in the home,
    • raising children, and
    • providing sexual access to one person,
      • purely for the means to reproduce.

As a self-possessed, female-identifying entrepreneur who does not share that masculine, monotheistic worldview, I don’t see those first four as negative things, and I wholeheartedly reject the last. I would wager that most of my peers would feel likewise.

At the same time, I recognize (and celebrate) that my very presence in the marketplace is a challenge to millennia of the so-called ‘status quo.’ I also understand that any time I portray myself as a sexual being with a will of her own, I invoke the Whore archetype, especially if I’m willing to inhabit my sexuality at the same time as I’m selling absolutely anything at all. And yet, I am inspired by my own potential, my own creative power, and my own gifts and talents that I share with the world.

Does that make me a whore?

Well, aren’t we all selling our time, energy, mind, and/or body—to someone, be they employer, client, or customer—for our livelihoods?

Whores. Aren’t we all?

And if so, why not stand in that power—own it, use it, and celebrate our independence, our self-determination, and our potential?

Why not completely remove the negative, shaming power of that word as an epithet, and instead channel our active feminine archetype deliberately, to help bring about an age of independent, empowered, self-possessed people that are creating a thriving world for all of us to live in?

In my mind’s eye, I see a world in which all people recognize the divine spark within all others, and in which we all contribute our unique talents, unrestrained, with the knowledge that everyone’s contributions are absolutely vital to the whole. In my mind’s eye, I so clearly see a world in which the Sacred Whore leads the way to the self-actualization of humanity as a whole, and it’s an earth-shaking vision.

May Mystery, Babalon the Great, the Mother of Prostitutes and Abominations, bless us all with Her love, lust, and transformative magick, that we may know and experience our own divine sparks, for the good of all humanity.

In Nomine Babalon!

Five Foolproof Steps to Getting the Most Out of Your Tarot Reading

So, you’ve taken the plunge and booked your first reading with me—Yayyyyyy!

Now what??

Honestly, the hardest part is over (and really, my one-stop online booking system makes “hard” a relative term), so now it’s time for the fun part: getting ready!

Here are my five foolproof steps to getting the most out of your tarot consultation with me:

  1. If you’ve booked a Zoom reading, you’ll receive an email with a link to follow at the time of your appointment; if it’s a phone reading, you’ll receive the phone number to call.
  2. At some point before your appointment, spend a few minutes thinking about what you need clarity on, what you’re struggling with, or what you hope to learn from consulting the tarot. A tarot deck is an incredible tool—it can go as ‘deep’ as you want to go, so don’t waste this opportunity! The more thought you give to what you want to dive into, the more responsive the reading will be.
  3. Although it’s not necessary to have a specific question in mind for the reading, having a question (or questions) ready for our session does help to give direction to our time together. The best questions for tarot consultations are open-ended questions, as opposed to yes/no ones.For example, ‘what do I need to know about my relationship right now?’ is a better question than ‘Is my partner happy with me?’
    Other examples of strong questions to ask the tarot are such things as:
    ‘How can I increase my chances of getting promoted?’
    ‘What is my biggest spiritual lesson to focus on this year?’
    ‘What can I do to attract the best romantic partner for me?’
    ‘When should I aim to move into a new house/apartment?’
  4. As your appointment time approaches, spend just a few minutes just calming your mind. Take a few slow, deep breaths, and really focus on the sound of air entering and leaving your body. There is nothing to fear or be nervous about when getting your cards read; rather, the few minutes of quiet you spend before calling or Zooming in will help you leave behind whatever you were doing or thinking about before our appointment. Our time together is sacred, so leave your mundane cares and stresses ‘at the door,’ and let’s go on a magickal journey!
  5. The final step is the MOST important one of all! In order to reap the full benefit of your tarot consultation, it’s vital that you come to your appointment with an open heart and a sense of curiosity. Please know that I and the tarot have absolutely nothing to prove to you, nor you to us. We are meeting in this time and space in YOUR behalf, to help YOU live your best life. I’m not telling your future, because I’m not a psychic! Instead, I like to describe myself as an advanced interpreter of signs, symbols, and archetypes, and I encourage my clients to have a conversation with me about what they want to explore. Occasionally, I’ve had clients put up energetic ‘walls’ around themselves, giving the shortest possible answers to my questions, not providing a question for the reading or giving the full context of their question, or even refusing to speak to me at all! Please don’t feel like you need to ‘hide’ from me in order to ‘test’ me—doing that only hinders the quality of the insights we’ll be able to gather during your reading. Instead, think of me as your partner in transformation. I’ll be the Samwise Gamgee to your Frodo Baggins, and we’ll get you to wherever it is that you need to be…together.

Ready to begin YOUR adventure?

Well, alright then! Head on over to my Services page, and away we go! I can’t wait to work with you!

Tarot Card Spotlight: Thoth Tarot’s The Moon

Traditional Title: The Ruler of Flux and Reflux, The Child of the Sons of the Mighty

Sign: Pisces

Planetary Ruler/Exaltation: Jupiter (Classical), Neptune (Modern)/Venus

Date Range: 2/19 – 3/20

Qabalistic Correspondences: Path 29, Netzach (7) to Malkuth (10); Sephira 4, Chesed (via ruling planet Jupiter)

Key Words: confusion, illusion, shadow, madness, witchcraft, darkness

The ever-changing moon waxes and wanes in a never-ending cycle. She grows, becomes full, shrinks down to nothing, and begins again anew. The Moon card, Atu XVIII, represents the confusion and lack of clarity that comes with examining things by metaphorical moonlight. Since the Moon’s face continually changes from our perspective here on earth, the card represents an unreliable narrator, illusions, even nightmares and hallucinations. It’s path on the Tree of Life is a great illustration of its off-kilter nature, flowing down one side of the Tree from Venus’s rule in Netzach down to the earth in Malkuth. It’s far down the Tree, one-sided, and heavily influenced by the darker, feminine energies. Crowley associated this card with “witchcraft and abominable deeds.”

The Moon card, in spite of any attachments we may have to lunar deities or to the satellite itself, is intended to cause unease. It is intended to recall in the reader the sense that nothing is what it seems; even under the light of the full moon, our eyes can and do play tricks on us. We do not know and are loathe to imagine what is hiding in the shadows. This card often comes up during ‘the dark night of the soul,’ when there is important information the querent is not privy to or doesn’t have yet, when things are in a state of flux, and/or when the situation is developing and not ‘set’ yet. When this card appears in a reading, the querent must reconsider what they think they know, acknowledge that not every passing thought is true or deserves to be believed in, and re-evaluate their conclusions.

The Shady Seven: Avoid These Unethical Intuitive Readers

In twenty years of working in metaphysics and the occult, I’ve seen all manner of shady ploys from so-called “spiritual” workers. It’s an unfortunate fact that not every intuitive reader has your best interests at heart. And after being the target of several of these in just the past month(!), I’m reminded that some things just don’t change, and they don’t change because these stunts are still working at least some of the time!

So, to hopefully save someone some heartache and disappointment, here is my list of some of the biggest red flags out there. If your prospective reader fits any of these descriptions, I can guarantee you that your best bet is to walk the other way…

  1. The Messenger: You’re browsing your local metaphysical shop, minding your own business, when the store reader approaches you and says they have a message for you from their guides. They won’t tell you what it’s about, but will insist the information is critically important, and ask you to buy a reading with them so that you can obtain this information “for your own good.” If you hesitate or decline, they intimate that you’re making a grave mistake. Most of the time, The Messenger has no information for you at all, and may very well make up whatever they tell you in the reading. Their main goal is to stir up business for themselves by lighting the fuse of customers’ insecurities.

    Bonus tip:
    Being a reader does not make you an authority figure. It does not mean you “know what’s best” for everyone else. Every reader of substance and integrity I’ve ever known would either mind their own business in this case or, in truly pressing circumstances, provide the critical information to the person in question with no strings attached and no pitches.
  2. The Catastrophist: This person tells you that you have a curse on you (a dark cloud hanging over you, a dark energy following you, etc.) that they can remove…for a fee. Whether that fee is $80 or $800, the intent is the same: to scare you into purchasing something from them. The Catastrophist confirms your worst anxieties about things you don’t understand or feel incapable of handling (like curses, demons, and ghosts), and just so happens to have the precise remedy at the ready. In many cases, there is no end to the work you’ll need performed on your behalf, and they will always have a new boogey man to scare you with, or a new twist in the saga of dealing with your problem, that–you guessed it–requires more money.

    Bonus tip:
    “Curses” have more to do with your own thought patterns than what someone or something else has done to you. The most effective way to remove a “curse” is to change your mind, and only YOU can do that.
  3. The Mediary: This one happened to me not long ago. An intuitive consultant that I declined to hire DM’d me a couple of days after I turned them down to tell me that MY particular deity came to THEM with a message specifically for ME. Conveniently, the message was that I should change my mind and hire them in order to follow my deity’s guidance and receive my deity’s blessings. Needless to say, that DM got promptly ignored. The Mediary specializes in making you believe that YOU are not connected enough (psychic enough, gifted enough, etc.) to receive messages directly from your own deity, but LUCKY FOR YOU, The Mediary IS plugged in and can pull down your messages for you! Isn’t that amazing?

    Bonus tip:
    This is not the Catholic church, friends. You are a child of the Universe, a star—you don’t need anyone to mediate between you and the Divine, because you are part of the Divine.
  4. The New Friend: I get this one all the time, and it truly makes my skin crawl. The New Friend reader will direct message you out of the blue (usually soon after connecting with you on social media), introduce themselves by telling you alllllllll about their unique qualifications and then offering to intercede on your behalf with deity, pray for you, work magick for you, etc. From the outside looking in, it seems like they’re just trying to build a friendship with a new connection. They may say something like, what can I help you with? Love? Money? Your job? I’m happy to help! But in reality, they’re waiting for the perfect opportunity to hit you with their price list.

    Bonus tip:
    Readers want friends like everyone else, and they make friends the same way everyone else does—by giving of themselves, expressing interest in others, and looking for commonalities. A principled reader will never mix friendship building with sales pitches.
  5. The Milker: You decided to purchase a reading from a reader you like. Yay! You’re most of the way through the appointment and approaching the end of your purchased time when suddenly The Milker tells you that… wait…wait… more information is coming through for you… they need to share it with you… but they can only do it if you pay for more time. Sometimes The Milker is more casual than dramatic, perhaps making an off-hand comment that there’s lots more to tell you, but shucks, we’re out of time. The Milker preys on the very real human need for the safety and control we get from having information, and they use that to extract more cash from your wallet.

    Bonus tip:
    Any reader worth their salt will strive to give you a complete reading within the time that you purchase, and will not dangle temptation in front of you to get you to go beyond the time or money limits you set at the beginning of the appointment. However, if YOU continue to ask questions beyond the point at which your time is exhausted, you should absolutely expect to have to pay for your reader’s additional time.
  6. The Vested Interest: This reader tries to pressure you into a particular course of action during your time together. Whether it’s immediately apparent why they are pushing you toward one path over another, or not, there is no reason that a stranger should be more invested in your life than you are. The Vested Interest poses as a reader who believes in you and wants to see you succeed, but in reality, they want you to choose a path that keeps them in the picture somehow. Whether it’s through creating a need for more services from them, or giving them a convenient excuse to refer you to their friend, relative, or business partner, you are a walking dollar sign to them.

    Bonus tip: It’s fine for a reader to advise you on your options, but your decisions are yours alone, and if they respect you as a person, they’ll respect your autonomy. You can rest assured that anyone who pressures you to make any decision—in any direction—is doing so for their own interests, not yours.
  7. The Secret Wielder: Perhaps the most heinously unethical reader of all, The Secret Wielder destroys the integrity of the reader-querent relationship by using confidential (often private, vulnerable, or embarrassing) information that comes up in the reading to push you into purchasing additional items or services from them. The Secret Wielder violates the trust of the relationship by preying on your hopes, dreams, and fears. They may even repeat back to you something very sensitive that you said in the reading as evidence that you should do something you don’t want to do, like purchase their most expensive package, or buy a certain crystal or talisman.

    Bonus tip: A faithful intuitive reader will challenge your preconceived notions, push you on your bullshit patterns, and even call you out on the lies you’re telling yourself in order to stay in your comfort zone, but they’ll never hold out their products and services as the only way forward. Remember, real change comes from changing your mind, and there is ALWAYS more than one way to retrain your brain.

I truly hope you never experience any of these tactics, let alone get burned by any of them. And I hope that, armed with the information here, you only experience the best intuitive readings. But even if you’ve been burned in the past, I hope you won’t let that sour you on the benefits of having an ongoing partnership with a gifted reader. The search for the right intuitive reader is a lot like finding the right therapist—it’s trial and error until you find the person who ‘gets’ you, who empowers you, and who wants to see you succeed on your own terms. That’s what real support looks like, and everyone deserves to have that, without fear of manipulation or extortion.

If you’re curious to see if I’m the right fit for you, please feel free to check out my offerings on my Services page, where you can easily and quickly select the service that’s right for you, choose your preferred appointment time, book it, and pay—all in one easy, breezy step. I look forward to connecting with you soon!

Tarot Card Spotlight: Thoth Tarot’s 9 of Wands

Thoth Title: Strength

Planet/Sign: Moon in Sagittarius

Planetary Ruler: Jupiter

Date Range: December 3 – 12

Qabalistic Correspondence: Yesod of Atziluth

Key Words: flexibility, defense, adaptability as strength, standing up for oneself

The 9 of Wands is Moon (planet of mystery, cycles, and all things psychic) in Sagittarius (sign of higher thought, philosophy, travel, spontaneity) in the Moon’s sephira of Yesod. To be released from the electronic confusion trap of the 8 of Wands, we must cultivate a strength and flexibility of will, as is found in this card. Like the Moon Herself, the 9 of Wands is ever-changing, and Sagittarius lends its fiery nature to the cause, making this the card of being able to bend when necessary, and to be fully aware of when it’s not. It’s this knowledge of how to bend and not break that leads to the full expression of one’s will, the culmination of the suit of Wands at the height of its essence.

The Moon’s influence on this card is particularly important. With its monthly cycle mimicking menstruation and pregnancy, the Moon is typically considered to be feminine in nature, and thus, often viewed from the perspective of fragility, receptivity, and weakness.

But anyone who has ever watched a woman’s body swell, flex, and split to facilitate the entry of another person into the world knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is nothing delicate about the mother principle, which not only accomplishes this feat, but survives it again and again. Likewise, this card reminds us how critically important flexibility is to strength—not to withstand abuse, but to duck it, turn it on itself, and channel that force into reflective and defensive strategies.

When this card appears in a reading, it’s time to stand up for yourself or others who have no defender. Flexibility is your best offense and defense, and your energetic might is at an all-time high. If ill-dignified, 9 of Wands can also call you to consider how your rigidity may be digging you deeper into the hole you find yourself in—whether it’s by insisting on doing things your way or over-relying on your peace-making skills.

Tarot Card Spotlight: Thoth Tarot’s 8 of Wands

 

Thoth Title: Swiftness

Planet/Sign: Mercury in Sagittarius

Planetary Ruler: Jupiter

Date Range: November 23 – December 2

Qabalistic Correspondences: Hod of Atziluth

Key Words: rapid change or development, unexpected communications, electronic information

The 8 of Wands is entitled “Swiftness,” and it is ruled by the energy of Mercury (planet of communications, commerce, systems, speed) in Sagittarius (sign of higher thought, philosophy, travel, spontaneity), while residing in Mercury’s home sephira of Hod. Mercury’s airy, fast moving, intellectual nature is only made more insubstantial by Sagittarius’s mutable fire. Sagittarius is the sign of the philosopher, student, and teacher, ruling over higher education, publishing, systems of law, and other higher intelligence functions. This card therefore represents fast moving developments of the digital information age, where change is constant, though not necessarily permanent. 8 of Wands is a glittering, electrical current—a tool that we can use, or be used by.

When the 8 of Wands appears in a reading, the winds of change are blowing, and the querent will likely receive new information regarding the situation at hand. Electronic communications bring unexpected news, situations change swiftly with little warning, and new developments may or may not be enduring. Flow with the information for now, try not to make any permanent changes just yet—reserve your judgment and action until circumstances become more solidified.

The Lusty Mage Reviews… F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power. by Alexandra Roxo

Right after I shared my last blog post, a dear friend sent me an email with the link to Alexandra Roxo’s newest offering. Book nerd and incorrigible book collector that I am, I promptly ordered and devoured it in less than twenty-four hours.

After gorging myself on the juiciness of the first pass-through, I’ve immediately started right back in on working through all the exercises in earnest…

 

 

So, let me start with this: if you are interested in practicing sex magick, reigniting your sex life, or effectuating rapid personal transformation, but don’t know where to start, F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power. is the guide to sexual and personal alchemy that will become fundamental to your work.*

This is real, deep-shadow work, packaged in an empowering, compassionate, and easy to follow format. The exercises are easily executed, and although they appear deceptively simple, they pack a wallop! Before I could even complete the first one, I’d already had some pretty astounding realizations about my own path to transformation, and shed a few tears of deep truth, too.

Roxo meets us where we are on the path to reclaiming our sexuality, wherever that may be. The book is well-researched, nonjudgmental, and reflects a wide range of magickal experience. With a personal story that is deeply resonant to me and I’m guessing many other women too, Roxo invites us into the sacred temple of sacred sexuality, wraps her arms around us, and whispers, welcome home, sister. In short, it’s a book I’ll happily admit that I wish I had written, but I’m so grateful that she did so I, too, can be a recipient of its incredible gift.

Not only is Roxo brilliantly connected to today’s current of sexual reclamation and divine feminine celebration, but I was also thrilled to discover that she, too, had an intuitive learning relationship with the incomparable Bobby Drinnon! I couldn’t help but feel an immediate kinship with her. And although I haven’t traveled the globe or made illuminating films the way she has, I found her to be relatable and funny, and the feelings that underlie her narrative are universal.

In closing, two enthusiastic wands up! You can expect to see FLaG on my recommended reading lists and referenced in my sex witch courses to come!

 

 

*Full Disclosure: this blog post contains affiliate links, meaning that if you purchase the product through my link, I will receive a small commission on the linked item.

 

10 Easy Ways to Re-Explore Sex (That Won’t Get You Arrested or Fired)

Did you ever stop questioning your sexual practices…and forget to start again?

I sure did.

For years, the mantra I had around sexuality (and lots of other things, for that matter) was I don’t do that. I never thought to ask myself why. I just knew I wanted to be A Good Person™, and that’s what Good People™ do. Even long after converting to paganism, I still unknowingly harbored remnants of the repressive and destructive beliefs that are the monotheistic patriarchy’s calling card.

Fast forward to my mid-30s, when I was having an identity crisis and moment of reckoning with my very vanilla, very strait-laced, very boring life. In a moment of clarity, I remembered that I used to love sex. I used to enjoy it, to crave it, to rule with it. Somewhere along the way, sex had lost that energetic charge for me.

I realized sex had become…perfunctory.

Once I could see what was missing, I began poking and prodding at my sex life. I got curious about my attitude toward it, and I decided to revisit everything I thought I knew about myself and sex.

And do you know what I found? Lots of stuff I knew virtually nothing about, but had decided ‘wasn’t for me’ a long time ago. Now I could find no reason to rule these whole categories of intimacy out of my life. In checking these out for myself, I discovered some old boundaries held up; others didn’t. Some things I tried still weren’t for me, but others…were freaking fantastic, and brought great growth in my confidence, happiness, and satisfaction with my life and my marriage.

If you’re reading this and thinking, I could never do that, I invite you to go on a sexual expedition like I did. Now, don’t go immediately stampeding toward your hardest “no” activities! Start off with the mild stuff. Open a private or incognito window in your browser and let your curiosity lead the way in a Googling session. If even this idea is intimidating, remember that human sexuality is a broad spectrum, with lots of room for “normal.” We should feel free to indulge in what turns us on, and leave the rest, with no shame or guilt—sex should be fun, not scary or shameful.

I’ve also heard anecdotes of people thinking that they can get fired from their jobs for having a sex life, or even worse, thinking that something on the kinkier side of the spectrum is all-out illegal! Let me reassure you: as long as you’re not involving children or animals, hurting an adult without their consent, or watching an adult be hurt without their consent, you’re ok. Keep your private life separate from your public life, and you’re free to enjoy your sexy self to the fullest! So now, without further ado, I give you…

10 Easy Ways to Re-Explore Sex (That Won’t Get You Arrested or Fired)

  1. Follow sex worker activists, pleasure advocates, and ethical non-monogamists on social media. There are tons of people on Twitter and Instagram especially, as well as podcasts. These activists, advocates, and educators are great thought leaders on equity, rights, privacy, risk awareness and safer sex practices, sexual ethics, and sexual creativity and enjoyment. More than once, I have discovered unhealthy and unhelpful beliefs I was unknowingly harboring by listening to and reading perspectives that are different from my own. Their perspectives have broadened mine, and released me from guilt and shame that kept me from exploring all the other things on this list, which is why I’m putting this one first. Some of my favorites are Whores of Yore on Twitter, Erika Lust on Instagram, and the Life on the Swingset podcast. And as always, once you find one you like, you’re hot on the trail of more!
  2. Visit a sex-positive sex shop. Ask questions. The staff in sex-positive sex shops are more than happy to answer your questions (and I promise, they’ve heard them all, so don’t be shy!), make recommendations, and show you around the shop. That they have chosen to work in a sex-positive shop means they value sex and all the wonderful things it does for our health and wellbeing. As an added bonus, they know all about the latest and greatest in sex toys, lubes, books, and all things sexy. In Nashville, I recommend Lovebound because it’s sex-positive, and women-owned and -operated.
  3. Buy an outfit that you feel sexy in. Wear it. This one is so simple, and yet so powerful, y’all. I think many of us get so caught up in building a professional or “respectable” wardrobe, that we mentally eliminate a large swath of self-expression that is possible via clothing. Let me be the first to say, you deserve to look good and feel good about the way you look. Every body is hot and beautiful. Every. Body. Dress yours up to your sexy satisfaction, even if it’s just at home for yourself. Take some pictures of that fine ass, that gorgeous cleavage, those bedroom eyes! Sexy selfies can be put in a hidden folder on your phone, so you don’t have to worry about accidentally revealing all the goods while you’re trying to show someone pics from the family vacay.
  4. Explore makeup, jewelry, and accessories that you could never wear because you find them slutty or shameful. Think red lipstick, lingerie, stiletto heels, tight or short clothing. Ask yourself why can’t you wear that? Is being slutty or whorish the worst possible thing you could be? Are you afraid of looking easy or attracting attention from the wrong people? You may discover the root of your fears about sex, so that you can eradicate them. Or you may find that when you put aside the judgements you were taught to have, you discover that you love the look of a red pout, you feel adventurous when you wear lingerie under your work clothes, or you love the look of your legs in stilettos. And there are infinite options and combinations to try, if for no other reason than to indulge your creativity and celebrate how stunningly beautiful YOU ARE.
  5. Look into boudoir photography. Now that you have a hot outfit or two, and possibly some fun accessories, wouldn’t it be cool to have another reason to wear them? There’s something about channeling your inner sex kitten and having it memorialized in photos that really revs up your libido and confidence. Most boudoir photographers provide makeup and hair styling, and are happy to walk you through picking outfits, posing, and mastering your facial expressions. These talented professionals know how to put you at ease and photograph you in the best possible light. No matter your age, weight, height, hang-ups, or insecurities, they can show you the sexiness others see, but you can’t. I’ll be honest, having a boudoir photo session is, to this day, some of the best money I’ve ever spent—those images reminded me of the immense power I wield as a woman, and of the part of me that thoroughly enjoys being sexual. In the Nashville area, I highly recommend Kristen Fonville Boudoir Photography—I’ve had both a boudoir and a headshot session with her, and am super-pleased with the images from both!
  6. Watch Sex with Sunny Megatron on Showtime. This eight-episode series is fun, funny, open, informative, and hot! The host, Sunny Megatron, is a pleasure advocate, and it’s readily apparent that she loves her work. Each show covers a variety of interesting topics—some you’ve probably never heard of, some sure to pique your interest, and some guaranteed to make you go hmmm… Give yourself permission to watch with fun curiosity and no judgement, and to feel whatever you feel—good, bad, or indifferent—with no shame attached. You just might surprise yourself!
  7. Check out erotica. Erotica, which is decidedly racier than romance, is essentially porn in written form. It also happens to be one of the most comfortable formats for women to explore their tastes in porn. There are so many places to find good erotica–printed short story collections, novels, fan fic(tion), and online forums, just to start. Open up a private browser window, and google away! Sites like Holistic Wisdom offer amateur stories and a chance to submit your own, if you’re feeling adventurous. You can check out the erotica section in your used book store, or this great list of websites from Bustle. There are plenty of options, and if one short story falls flat, you can always move onto the next one without feeling like you’ve invested too much time. Quick and easy!
  8. Try watching or looking at some porn. If you are a newbie to porn, prepare to be overwhelmed by the sheer diversity of offerings out there. If you can think of it, there’s porn for it! Try to approach it all with an open mind, and dabble. Regardless of whether something turns you on or not, let there be NO SHAME about it. Try to look at the material with NEW eyes, not the attitude you’ve always had. There is much that can be said about pornography—enough for a whole article by itself—and I know for many of us who’ve been raised as feminists, porn is often regarded as degrading and destructive. However, there are folks out there who are producing sex-positive pornography that centers healthy pleasure for all parties, and the more we support them, the more likely the industry will evolve to meet our needs more often. Also, if you grew up during the age of porn based on ridiculous and hokey stories that turn you off (hello, pool man/pizza delivery guy/plumber!), you may be pleasantly surprised to find there is a plethora of amateur couple videos, photos, and even sexy gifs out there. The overall effect is to skip the silly back stories and get straight to the goods—gotta love efficiency!
  9. Keep a sexy dream journal. Keeping a dream journal is a great practice in general, because dreams are the window into our subconscious selves. It’s easy to do—just keep a small journal and a pen at your bedside and record notes on what you dreamed as soon as you wake up. Make sure you include how you felt about what was happening and who else was there. The same applies when you have a sexy dream—what happened, with whom, and how did you feel about it? Your feelings are the most important part, because they reveal where you stand with regard to fears and desires. Dreams can lead the way on what to explore next and what needs adjustment. And sex dreams are a great way to meet your animus/anima, or your Holy Guardian Angel, who often appears as a talented lover who knows you better than anyone has ever known you.
  10. Make a list of sex no-no’s and systematically revisit them. This is the list I referred to earlier. Brainstorm all the sexual practices you can think of, have heard of, or learned about. Then read up on them, watch some porn on them, read a novel that involves them…assess for yourself with no outside influence, and decide if in fact they are or are not something you want to try out in real life. Then, armed with a list of titillating fantasies, you can set off on an adventure of trying those new things.
  11. BONUS! Challenge yourself to do something you feel is “naughty,” perhaps one per month. Does the activity turn you on or off? Why? Putting these things into words, to your partner or even only to yourself, will help you identify your real likes and dislikes. The more we understand ourselves, the more fun and fulfilling sex can be, and isn’t that the real goal?

Above all, no shame. Shame is the magick killer. Your sexuality is yours and yours alone. Explore it, enjoy it, own it. It’s one of the easiest and most pleasurable ways to access your unique magick, and next time, we’ll talk about some ways to begin using all that sexual energy. Until then, happy humping! 😉

The Lusty Mage’s Crash Course in Sex Magick

Perhaps you’ve noticed my frequent references to sexuality, sensuality, and sexiness recently, and it’s got you wondering, what’s up with THAT?

Well, I’ve been amping up the sexy talk because a large part of my own transformational journey over the past several years is a result of exploring my own sexuality again for the first time in decades. And although I haven’t had what I would call a change of orientation, I have been struck by several epiphanies along the way…

Mainly, I had this crazy realization that all sex is magick, and all magick is sex.

Most people readily recognize that sex is magickal and sacred when it results in pregnancy. But on its most basic level, sex is still sacred even when no babies come of it…even when the parties involved are not cis-gendered, heterosexual people…even when the parties involved are just one party (stay tuned—more about non-hetero love and masturbation to come in a later post)

Sex is always among the most sacred of human acts.

Yes, sometimes sexy playtime opens the portal for a new soul to incarnate; but most times, what we’re really doing is opening ourselves up to be charged, changed, and even challenged. Sex with open hearts creates connection, love, and intimacy; when it’s focused on passion, sex yields creative expression, ecstasy, and inspiration…

Put plainly and simply, sex is marvelous and miraculous.

During the deed, we experience the fleeting sensation of being god-like in our power to create new life. Even when we aren’t seeking or even capable of it, that primal human memory of baby-making still holds sway. In the throes of passion, we also experience la petite mort, or the tiny death, of orgasm—when everything but pleasure and intensity fades away to nothingness. It’s nothing short of holy.

But here in the U.S. (as I’m sure you’ve noticed), sex is traditionally viewed with side eye. We don’t trust it. It’s is something to be feared, shunned, or at the very least, wary of. From a young age, we’re taught certain sexual boundaries and to never question them. Our culture is rife with these messages (and many more):

  • Don’t do it outside of marriage.
  • Only do it with your spouse.
  • Missionary, no toys, and only to get pregnant.
  • Once you have kids, your sex life is over.
  • Once you’re __ years old, your sex life is over.
  • Avoid anything “strange” or “kinky.”
  • Sex is dirty, shameful, risky, scandalous, blasphemous, and base.

All of these ideas are incredibly destructive to our ability to freely and openly enjoy this integral part of the human experience. Incidentally or not so incidentally, these oppressive ideas cut us off from a natural way to experience our own power, as well as the wonder and awe of the ineffable. It would seem that the broader social structure has a vested interest in keeping each of us isolated, unplugged, adrift, and unempowered. But I digress…

The fact is, sex is one of the most accessible, yet profound ways that we work magick on this plane.

The controversial iconoclast and occultist Aleister Crowley defined magick as, “the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will.” Sex certainly falls into this category, as it is a scientific (and artistic in the right hands 😉) method by which we generate new life, emotional bonds, pleasure, safety…and oh yeah, orgasms. Sometimes we do it go to sleep, to improve our mood, to feel more alive, or to feel wanted. In short, we set out to make some kind of change in ourselves and/or our lovers with sexual acts, and when we accomplish them, we are performing magick.

So there you can see how all sex causes change and thus is magickal, even when we don’t set out to perform magick.

But how is the reverse true? How is all magick sexual?

Well, to explain that requires a slightly broader conception of sex than just two people fucking. To understand sex in a magickal context, we need to think of it as combining two distinct conditions/entities/forces. Put simply, we perform magick any time we make the two, one.

That is to say, we perform magick when we merge duality (opposites) into a singularity. During sexual acts, we merge the male and female (or active and receptive, to use non-gendered terms) into one entity or result. In fact, thinking of sexual intercourse as a merger is so common that Shakespeare once euphemized it as, “making the beast with two backs.”

But to let you in on a huge little magickal secret, there is really only One, and you and I and everything we know is part of the One.

All dualities are really just multiple facets of the same One: self and other, male and female, light and dark, good and evil, above and below. When we eliminate the seeming contradiction between two conditions, we necessarily merge them into one reality—into one beast, if you will.

Sexual intercourse is just another melding of duality into One, when Force (the masculine or active) and Form (the feminine or receptive) meet to create the whole, The All. This whole (a.k.a. God, YHVH, Elohim, Light, Spirit, Source, etc.), is neither masculine nor feminine, active nor passive—the Divine is All. And we and our lover together become a tiny version of the All when we surrender our singular selves to the meeting of minds, bodies, fluid, breath, and spirit. In that moment of ecstatic merging, we achieve the fundamental magickal decree, “as above, so below,” by becoming a microcosm of the Divine’s macrocosm.

The same is true when we perform other types of magick. Take casting a spell for money, for instance. By doing spell work for money, you are attempting to eliminate the incongruence between having and not having, so that you can feel luxurious at all times, which leads abundance to ‘magickally’ find its way into your luxurious possession.

Because all magick hinges on merging duality into singularity, all magick is inherently sexual.

But beyond the lofty philosophy of the magickal properties of gettin’ it on, sex is fun. It’s hot and tantalizing, exciting and empowering. It’s creative. It’s transformative and transcendent. It’s ENERGY. Generating and directing energy is the main mechanism of magick, and what do you think you’re doing when you’re working on turning yourself and your lover on?

Ultimately, what re-exploring the world of sex has shown me is that we are each capable of moving and influencing a staggering amount of energy through our willingness to engage our unique sexuality.

I’ve seen how increasing my attunement to sexual currents not only electrifies my sex life, but also super-charges my creativity and courage in other ways, including my willingness to share myself with others and be seen. In fact, you’re reading one of those manifestations right this moment.

If you’ve read this far, perhaps you feel stuck, too, like I once did. Perhaps you miss the way you used to enjoy your sex life, or maybe you’re tired of fighting heaviness and boredom in search of creativity and fun. The more familiar this sounds, the more I encourage you to stay tuned for next time, when I’ll share some ways to dip your toes back into the sexy pool

In the meantime, I’m available to consult with you on YOUR specific situation—let’s pull some cards, let’s dive deep, let’s talk about how we can support you in accessing your power to follow your true purpose. Whether you choose to work with me or not, I encourage you to engage in the sacred work of rekindling your own sexual power.  Life is fleeting and precious—please don’t waste it. You have nothing to lose, and so very much to gain.

Naked Athena? Call Her by Her Real Name

Stunning photos and film clips of a female protester in Portland, Oregon are circulating on Twitter and in mainstream media the last few days. Clad in nothing but a mask and a hat, a mysterious woman single-handedly faced off a large group of armed federal law enforcement officers during a dangerous and escalating protest by displaying herself naked in the No Man’s Land that formed between the officers and protesters at the intersection of Third Avenue and Taylor Street.

Video clips of the encounter document that she showed no sign of trepidation or intimidation, and approached the line of law enforcement with grace and no small measure of seduction. Several accounts of the anonymous protester describe her assuming a number of poses during her silent confrontation with law enforcement, the range of which spanned from meditative to seductive. At one point, she sat down on the pavement, opened her legs, and unabashedly welcomed the gaze of the mostly male officers. After approximately 10 minutes of her tantalizing standoff, the officers dispersed, and she disappeared into the crowd, unharmed.

She has been hailed as “Naked Athena” by the media, and I wholeheartedly agree that her actions were nothing short of divinely inspired. But if I may be so bold, I think attributing the protester’s inspiration to Athena is paying homage to the wrong goddess.

Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom and war, was a fierce warrior who was known for her intelligence and strategy. And though the anonymous protester was fearlessly facing an armed, hostile force while she herself was armed with only the gifts with which she was born, the media seems to be forgetting (if they ever knew) that Athena was first and foremost a Daddy’s Girl. Athena was known to be a defender of Her father, Zeus, and His rule, excellent at debate and strategy, and downright terrifying on the battlefield. In short, Athena is the Princess of Swords.

And though it’s deliciously tempting to compare this protester to mighty and terrifying Athena, I must point out that Athena would’ve been leading the line of law enforcement, defending the patriarchy and Her father’s rule.

However.

There was a goddess present in the street that night, clad in the flesh and blood of a mortal woman brazenly displaying herself on the pavement for all to see, inviting lust, worship, admiration, and fear.

There was a goddess leading the activists and their call for justice. A goddess in the form of a graceful, beautiful, and terrifying woman who is not bound by the rules, judgments, and constrictions imposed by such impermanent things as nation-states.

There was a goddess standing guard in Portland that night, leading Her people to stand up for themselves, their justice, their lives, their loves. She is something very different from Athena’s ruthless and calculating Princess of Swords. This is a goddess of fire, blood, lust, and ecstasy. Someone who looks much more like the Queen of Wands.

Her glorious name is BABALON: Our Lady the Scarlet Woman, The Mother of Abominations, the Bride of Chaos.

Babalon is the Western esoteric name for the Sumerian goddess Inanna and the Babylonian goddess Ishtar. Her role in attaining enlightenment is to receive all and deny none. All those who give themselves over completely in worship of Her are drained into Her cup of abominations—sucked dry in a fit of carnal ecstasy, if you will. It’s a metaphor for the death and rebirth of ego surrender, which every prophet, saint, and savior achieves in order to reach enlightenment. Babalon is the vehicle for return to the Light, the Source, the All. The whole of Babalon’s teachings are couched in an allegory of sexual relations, because orgasm is a tiny death—a sacred, transcendental experience that gives mere mortals a glimpse into the ineffable, infinite light of Source.

Thus, Babalon is a goddess of sacred metamorphosis, an archetype of defiantly female sexual impurity heralding transformation and evolution, emphasizing that the sacred and profane are one and the same. She is beyond beautiful—the fullness of sexual pleasure, the embodiment of divine feminine sexuality and carnal knowledge. That is her loving side.

The power which our anonymous protester marshaled and displayed in the simple act of sharing her body without condition or malice—to such a degree that a large force of angry and anxious warriors was temporarily disarmed by surprise and the sheer wonder of beauty and attraction—was nothing less than the deliverance of the Divine Feminine, of BABALON the Beautiful Herself.

For a moment, there was a retreat from the brink of deterioration, madness, and desecration; for a moment, no one was hurt. For a moment, Third Avenue was simply filled with people—each and every single one precious and divine and worthy of love.

Babalon as seen in The Thoth Tarot, holding aloft Her cup of abominations while astride the Beast of Chaos.

But, Our Lady of Abominations also has a warring side. Because She is the Bride of Chaos and the divine embodiment of transformation and evolution, Babalon is also the goddess of war, activism, empowerment, and revolution. Girt with sword, unimpeded by gods, and covered in the blood of sacrifice, this is the goddess who will see justice be done. This is no victim’s deity. She takes back what has been stolen, rights the wrongs, returns the balance.

As this long, hot summer wears on, and as the sea change in the course of American history continues, may we be inspired by Our Lady to continue the fight for righteousness and universal equity. May we find divine joy in love as well as in struggle. May we be welcomed into Her arms of Love and Her arms of Justice.

IN NOMINE BABALON